Sober October Starts Now
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NEXT Dear friends:
My name is Elizabeth, and I like to drink. My love affair with alcohol began unceremoniously at a fraternity party in college and has been going strong ever since. The poisons may have changed over the years from keg beer to French bubbly but the joy I get from softening the edges after a stressful day or cutting loose after a long week remains the same. Like fine food, frequent travel and the NYTs in bed on a Sunday morning, imbibing is one of my favorite past times. I love pairing wine with dinner, I rejoice at a new negroni recipe, and I find the simplest pleasure in sipping a cold IPA at a hot summer music festival.
While singing its praises may sound like I have a problem with alcohol, I don’t. But the increasing popularity of Dry January and Sober September have been fascinating to follow and think: Why not me and why not October? I could’ve just as easily chosen coffee or carbs or complaining—all things that I reach for regularly to self-medicate and avoid feeling what I’m really feeling. To numb my anxiety that I’m not in control, and all of the uncertainty that life brings no matter how firmly planted I remain in my comfort zone. I chose alcohol because, of the bunch, it’s the most awkward to give up. I am social creature who loves to entertain and be entertained; drinking comes with the territory.
I don’t remember the last time I went a week without a drink, even if it was just a glass of wine with dinner. I’ve definitely never gone an entire month in 20 years. I guess I want to know that I can, and I want to see what happens when I do. Will my friends still want to hang out? Will I still be fun and interesting? Was I ever? Will I lose weight? Will I find healthier ways to relieve stress or will I binge on Cheetos and Netflix to fill the void? Then there’s this: What if I don’t miss drinking? What if I feel so good and have so much energy and finally face whatever I’ve been hiding from or realize I have nothing to hide from?
You’ll be the first to know. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from any of you who have done a dry month or taken an extended break from drinking. Better yet, who wants to join me for Sober October?!
Sincerely sober,
Bets
I’ve spent the better part of four years sober or mostly sober. Because I’ve been pregnant or nursing! Here’s what I’ve learned: People drink even more than they think they do. Almost every gathering is centered around alcohol (and food, but that poses less of an issue, obviously).
Don’t get me wrong, I miss my whiskey, cider, and bubbles–there are definitely days where I would love to indulge until I feel I’ve indulged enough to suit me (I can honestly only think of two times where I got tipsy to drunk in the last few years) — but not nearly as much as I thought I would. I feel better–stomach and spirit. it also makes the “softening the edges” days feel less frequent, and maybe actually more enjoyable when I can actually imbibe, now that I think of it.
Katie! My pregnant friends were def an inspiration: if they can do it for 9 mos, how can I not do it for one?! Totally agree that I prob drink even more than I realize, it’s such a part of life, will be interesting to pay more attention to that and hopefully cut back overall from this experiment!
I did a month of not drinking a few years back. The first week was weird – I kept feeling like I was missing something in my hand, so I switched to water in a wine glass and ended up being super hydrated. Sadly, I lost zero pounds. It definitely gave me great perspective and spurred a lot of though. I’ll likely do another month again in the near future.
Ashley, thank you for sharing! I can always stand to be more hydrated …
I’ve been trying to be a bit healthier these days and a part of that has been laying off the booze! I’m not drinking any alcohol 6 days of the week and I have just a drink or two on the one day each week I choose. (That allows me to have a girls night out during the week or date night on the weekend or even just a well-deserved beer after a long day with the kiddos!) I don’t feel deprived AT ALL and don’t miss the daily glass of wine at all. I’m sure it will take a couple of nights out to get used to the idea of ordering something else, but then I bet it gets easier to do as the month goes on. Can’t wait to hear how this goes for you!! x
Thanks Kim! I’m so impressed. One day a week will hopefully feel like going to disney world after this month is up! Thank you for sharing and can’t wait to exchange notes! xo
I did the same thing back in May for the same reasons. No, I don’t have a drinking problem – but can I do without it? It was weird and hard at first, since a popular Portland pasttime is hanging out at breweries, but I did it and my friends were all intrigued to hear about it (most said “I should do that too!” haha). Good luck with it, and can’t wait to hear how it goes.
Stacy, I have been to portland and know what you are up against! Esp on a rainy day…glad your friends were curious and supportive, I’m finding the same and love that!
My new husband and I did 6 weeks dry after we got married/came back from our honeymoon because we felt terrible. Like you, we both very much enjoy a drink but it had been a month of serious overindulgence and we drank copiously pretty much every day of our honeymoon. We had a great time but after 2 days of being back on our home soil we just felt like we needed a break from it. It was a lot easier than we thought it would be. I was purposely trying to eat better at the same time, nothing too diet-y, just healthily, and I lost half a stone. Problem is, once the 6 weeks were up we went straight back to drinking. It didn’t change the ingrained habit at all
Anna, I love that you did it together and don’t we all come out of a stretch of too much fun saying: I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!! only to start up the next weekend?! Surprised it didn’t change your ongoing habit but heartened that you made it six weeks. Bravo!
I definitely like to drink but I don’t drink excessively (anymore). I like being tipsy. I hate being really drunk. And I can easily go without alcohol if I have to , so a sober month is a great idea and I’m on board.
Yay! I am less and less tolerant and more prone to hangovers as the years go on so I hear you! Let’s do this!
I’m in! And I’ll share why: while I completely condone a drink every day to enjoy, I understand the idea of numbing yourself. My dad passed away nearly two months ago due to alcoholism. While taking care of him there were nights where I needed 2-3 glasses of wine to help me relax and sleep. Even now, 2-4 times a week I find that I ‘need’ that glass to relax and unwind. Now I’m buying wine or really strong beers because I need them, not because I want to enjoy them with a meal or with friends. I miss the enjoyment of having a glass. I’m wasn’t thrilled with myself when I realized the need for it.
You have my support, I’m all in, and I look forward to reading your updates about it throughout the month!
Oh Rachelle, thank you for sharing you story and being so vulnerable. The need is the thing we are trying to eliminate, for sure, and get back to the special treat. But when you go through what you did, it’s only natural to want to numb. Go easy on yourself and please accept my condolences for your immense loss. xo
Thank you, Elizabeth. I greatly appreciate it and I hope your Sober October has been going well!
I did the Whole30 a few years ago so that was 30 days without alcohol. Before I did it, I kept thinking I would miss wine and drinking in general, but mostly cheese and carbs. And once it was finished, I didn’t really miss the cheese, sugar, and gluten; I totally missed wine! Similar to you, I love the ritual of a glass of wine in the evening or a lovely cocktail out on the weekends. You do feel pretty awesome when you go without all those things though… 🙂
I’m counting on it, Lucy! But whoa if the whole30 doesn’t sound WAY harder. You’re amazing!
I am SO in! I went 6 weeks in April/May without alcohol and it changed my drinking habits a lot. I still think I tend to rely on a glass of wine or cocktail to take the edge off a particularly rough day, so I’m down for a sober October! When I was doing the 6 weeks booze free, I started working out more to boost my mood, I also found that I was way more productive around the house and I was sleeping better.
Thanks for reminding me that sometimes it’s good to give our bodies a rest and reset!
Hooray, Allie! So impressed by your 6 weeks, and that you are up for doing it again! I’m def sleeping like a rock but now need to find a healthy replacement for my cravings…keep me posted!
I’ve been drinking kombucha or the Kevita sparkling probiotic drinks in a wine glass with dinner (definitely helps). Plus once I identified the situations at home and in public where a drink would be consumed, I worked extra hard to change my behaviors. At home, I noticed that if I watch tv I want a glass of wine, so I’ve been occupying my time with music, cooking/preparing meals, and crafting or working on the house. Essentially, these are situations in which my mind or my hands are too involved to consider drinking. Socially, I would offer to sober cab, have sparkling water with a splash of cranberry, or suggest social gatherings where alcohol is not present (go for a walk/yoga instead of dinner out)
Those were the keys to my success. The first week was the weirdest, just getting used to not having that stress relief/social lubrication/comfort. But almost as soon as I started, the brain fog lessened, I slept better and I was accomplishing more! Now, I really only drink on Fridays and Saturdays, and I’ve found that I don’t really like drinking more than 2 glasses of wine. It just sounds gross after those 2. It’s great! Good luck!
I’m all over the kombucha and kevita too! Our wine fridge is wondering what is going on… Totally agree on the importance of doing more things that I don’t associate with drinking. So far, watching TV or a movie on the weekends has been the hardest. Surprisingly, going out to eat wasn’t so bad. And the first week was tough! Looking forward to it getting easier and getting back to only drinking on weekends once this experiment is over!
I too, decided back in March that I wanted to try breaking away from the constant glass of wine that I needed most nights. The inability to want to do something else after the glass was empty. On March 15th, I decided to stop for one month. Today, October 4th, I have not touched alcohol at all and surprise, I don’t miss it. Yes, sometimes I feel like a wet blanket at events, but too bad. I am still fun and can still dance like crazy without the alcohol. Good luck on your alcohol free month. It’s going to be a lot easier than you might think and maybe those friends are not really friends at all.
So true, Ivette. Thankfully everyone has been more curious and annoyed with me but we will see how long that lasts! Congrats on making it this far. That is no small feat and just goes to show how grounded you are!
Yay Elizabeth! I will have hit 2 months of no ‘drankin’ 10/14 and I am LOVING it…I do so much selfcare I was just sabotaging it by throwing alcohol in the mix. I can also tell I mentally think through things so much better and rationally…and I’ve realized I surround myself with people doing better things for themselves versus sitting at a happy hour, then wondering why I don’t have enough leisure time. 🙂
So good on you for sober tober!
You were one of my inspirations, Natalie! Like you, drinking just doesn’t jive with all of the other self care I hold so dear. It’s going to be an adventure, and one that I hope at the very least makes me more aware of how my body responds to alcohol. I hate to undo all of the good I’m doing in other areas. Let’s grab a green juice soon! XO
The less often one drinks the more even a little bit affects you when you, Sometimes the ritual and the socializing that go with habits seem more important and pleasurable that the alcohol itself.
I just started reading your blog and am really impressed! The wine looks tempting. I just started a new blog, Blue Canyon Corner and am currently having a giveaway, including products from Vichy and Nip + Fab – you should check it out! Much Love, Liz
Hey Bets!
I love it! So proud of you. I did a few sober months in college here and there. I enjoyed it. It was weird though that once I stopped drinking finally about 14 years ago (while living in NYC), I discovered how awkward everyone else was about my not drinking. They all really seemed uncomfortable that I didn’t have a drink. And they would try to convince me to have one. Ultimately I discovered there was a lot of peer pressure to drink, even in our twenties. I also realized that I am a nervous drinker, meaning that once I switched my alcohol for water, I still sucked it down pretty fast as a nervous habit. No wonder a lot of nights I was more drunk than intended! I hope you find some wonderful things out about yourself during this time. I let my month sober go from one to two to years. I’ve been more clear headed and don’t miss it for anything. I’ve found new ways to relax and have fun. Love you and wish you all the best. XOXO friend!! -Keeley
Keeley! Sweet friend, I miss you! And I had completely forgotten that you have been dry, let alone for this long. You are amazing. Wish we could compare notes in person as this is def new territory for me and I can’t imagine a world without alcohol. Interesting note about being a nervous drinker … I’m paying extra attention to when I want/need a drink this month. Is it nerves, boredom, stress? Will keep you posted! XOXO
I’m in with you! I do this 2-3 x per year and always feel better, have more energy, hit more workouts and lose weight! Coincidentally this past week and weekend was my first of sober oct. Since not drinking till my bday 11-10. Good luck and enjoy!!
Dorie! So impressed. I hope to follow in your footsteps and do it more regularly. The first week was HARD but I can see that it’s going to get easier. What a perfect lead up to your birthday!
YIKES. i want to… BUT!
you inspire. xoxo
The feeling is mutual! And you know you can live vicariously, like I do when you are climbing mountains in your TOMS.